If we are disciples of Jesus, we see diversity as a very good thing. We honour variety. We don’t place it in a value system where some are more important than others for whatever trendy, political, cultural, or inherited reason.
But here’s the thing: in the absence of belief in God, Western culture believes that the only solution to loneliness is romance. Nearly all movies, pop songs, magazines, advertisements, and dating apps beat us over the head with the constant refrain: without romance, your life is not worth living.
I am 27 years old and I don’t want to be a mommy. That kind of sounds like a statement one would make at some type of “anonymous” meeting doesn’t it? Like it’s some sort of confession.
There are a lot of truths that just came to us more easily as kiddos. The world was simpler, and our place in it seemed easier to pinpoint. Sometimes, I find myself wishing I could just see the world more like I did as a kid.
I’m a Christian and I am divorced. I’m not proud of this marital status, but I am tired of standing in shame of it. I’ll be honest, I used to judge divorced people: “Why don’t they just try harder?” “They shouldn’t look for a quick out like divorce.” “Love means working through the difficult times.” […]
Every college student has worked as a barista. At least, it seems that way. What better place to work if you need caffeine and a place to study? It’s all right there. I was newly married with one more semester of grad school when I found myself joining ranks with all those caffeine-addicted students as […]
As I move into the last year of my twenties, even the thought of owning a houseplant still seems like too much of a tie-me-down commitment. As a single, I want my life to be my own. And I must confess: I love it that way. In fact, I love it too much. In my singleness, […]
If she’s old enough to be his mother, then the relationship is seen as distasteful. But wines get better with age; surely the same can be said of partners. While relationships involving older men and much younger women are still viewed as a little suspect, there is often a very clear bias against relationships involving […]
I knew Jackson was trouble the moment I met him. We were both studying abroad and attending our pre-departure orientation. I was drawn to his confidence, light blue eyes, and boyish grin, yet put off by his obvious arrogance. Despite the bright red flags that urged me to run far away, my attraction trumped my […]
I’m just going to come out and say it… I hate my ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend. It’s not something I’m proud to admit, considering the kind, confident and friendly woman I pride myself on being. It’s an unwanted feeling that reduces me to a jealous and catty high-school-girl stereotype… and I’ve been out of high school […]
Porn. It’s become a hot button issue for more and more people, whether they are coming from a Christian perspective or not. Both individuals and organizations, like Fight the New Drug and XXX Church, are emerging to expose and stand against the ugly truth. Although pornography is a predominantly male-marketed industry, women make up about […]
There I was, a knotty kneed third grade boy, with scuffed elbows and an Alfalfa cowlick, trying to solve a problem miles above my pay grade. My mom insisted that if I wanted to talk to her, I needed to ask for Genevieve. There was only one problem: my mom’s name was Nancy. I had […]
I got married too young. Or so everyone tells me. There are so many things to do and places to see and people to meet. And now I’m going to spend my days cleaning a cramped apartment, arguing with my wife, and trying to pay the bills on time. I settled. I cashed out. I […]
Some days, we all need to pause, take a step back, and view the bigger picture in order to see the world just a little more clearly. I have a few friends who help me do that. One is in the fourth grade. The other two are 10 and 14. When I was a […]
For many single ladies out there, Valentine’s Day is scarier than Halloween (with just as much sugar intake). Before you anxiously count down the minutes until February 15, here are some tips to survive Valentine’s Day and — dare I say it — actually enjoy it: Get your love on With your friends and family. […]
When I was a young teenager, someone at church looked at the casual way I dressed and asked, “Is that how you would dress if you were going to meet the Queen?” In that moment, I had an epiphany. I realized that if God is my King, I ought to have respect, and it should show […]
And not just our minds I have a friend who prays quite differently than I do. I’m not talking about her words, although they too are different than my own. It’s actually her posture I have in mind. We were in a small group together, and when it came time to pray she got off […]
Ask Amanda: an advice column from someone who has been there Hi Amanda, I’m dating a guy that’s extremely sweet, talented, good-looking, fun and adventurous… but he’s not a Christ follower. He believes in “something out there,” but not God the way I serve Him. He’s definitely open to learning more and loves me enough to […]
In my second year of university, I took off my purity ring. I had worn it on my right hand (it didn’t fit my left) for almost four years. It was something I had acquired at an abstinence conference, and because everyone else there was wearing one, I felt like I should, too. It wasn’t […]
Your weekends are filled with showers and bachelorette parties for newly engaged friends, your newsfeed is dominated by your exes’ wedding photos, and you’ve just gone through a break up. It’s enough to make you want to grab the nearest spoon and eat your weight in Ben and Jerry’s. Break ups are no fun, and […]
The kind of man you deserve isn’t looking for a woman to complete his kitchen. While I’m sure the steaks need marinating and the fruits need washing, I’m also sure his momma taught him how to do that. The kind of man you deserve isn’t looking to shepherd you into sedated submission. He isn’t a […]
I hate conflict. I avoid unsparing honesty 90 per cent of the time because I fear it will result in a disapproving argument. If I know what I have to say is going to cause conflict I typically don’t say it. I tuck the words away and pretend that they don’t exist. If I say […]
We all have those friends. You know the ones I mean. The friends who get everything they want in life. Or — even worse — everything you want in life, without even really trying that hard. One minute you’re side-by-side at the starting line. Suddenly they have sprinted ahead of you and are now living […]
They committed themselves to the teaching of the apostles, the life together, the common meal, and the prayers. (Acts 2:42, The Message) Community. Everybody’s talking about it, the new Christian buzzword. We all agree community is vital to our faith, and that we have been called to it. In Acts we read about the first […]
Learning to set boundaries with my mentally ill mother “Don’t you love me?” The lines around my mom’s eyes deepened, the confused pain engraved across her face. “Then why won’t you live with me?” she asked. “I don’t understand.” “Yes, mom, I do love you,” I said. But I just can’t live with you, I […]
During college, there was a time where I spent three years being mostly single. Prior to that I had been in a couple relationships that had ended in a lot of hurt. So in the three years that followed, I used a lot of energy envisioning how I wanted any future relationship to go. I spent […]
Before I left university, one of my leaders at school asked me an excruciating question. What friendships would I continue once I left town? Naively, I replied, “All of them of course!” I wanted to continue to invest in every friend I had made in the past few years. How could I not? In our […]
Dear Amanda, The guy I’m dating isn’t someone I ever pictured myself with. I pictured a tall, dark, and handsome guy and he’s not that. But he IS really wonderful, treats me well, and I could see this lasting. How can I know that he’s perfect for me, will take care of me, challenge my […]
You probably swore it would never happen — you would always scrape up enough funds to continue living on your own after college. But here you are, watching a reality dance competition show with your mom on a Saturday night after a home-cooked meal, finishing off the bowl of ice cream your dad eagerly brought […]
To wear jeans, or to not wear jeans in church. Is that really the question? I’d like to think I’m a pretty casual guy, and my wardrobe tends to reflect that. I have lots of hoodies, a few pairs of jeans, and the suit section of my closest is full of clothes that my parents […]
I am your single friend. You may know me as the girl you have in mind for your brother, your worship leader, your cousin… or your brother’s worship leader’s cousin. But before you plan our chance meeting, let me pass on something. Being single, I’ve observed my friends and family members who are married, and […]
Learning to descerne when to let go, when to understand that friendships are not meant to last, where they become toxic to you is important. Forgiveness is one thing, letting go is another.
Spring is in the air. And we all know what that means. Sunshine and rainbows. Did you think I was going to say love and marriage? (Wait, actually, those are contenders). But back to what I was saying. The coming of spring has given me pause to reflect on the year. And it has been […]
I started planning my wedding when I was 12. Scouring blogs, magazines, and online bridal vendors was a nightly pastime. I kept a file entitled “Wedding Inspiration” on my computer, and when Pinterest became popular, I quickly filled a board with gorgeous gowns, flawless makeup, and glamorous décor. So I have to admit I was […]
Three days ago, Seth Adam Smith published a blog post entitled “Marriage Isn’t For You” that went viral (Seth says it has over four million views so far). His cleverly titled post explained that marriage isn’t about your own happiness, but about your spouse’s happiness. This is my response to his post. I disagree with what […]
I’m 23, I just graduated from university, and I’m single. Many of my friends are married, and a few are starting to have children. And I feel as if I just graduated from high school again. You could say my life is in transition. And it’s true; I am in the middle of shifting myself […]